“Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell,”
The inevitable return of the great white dope - Bloodhound Gang.

So, in a series of comments on JGrrlz site I was lead to ask the question “Why they always gotta change the name of shit anyway?’. You should visit her site by the way. She’s smart AND pretty, with a great ass. A rare combination.

Anyway…….. We were talking about mental disorders when that question occured to me. I already know the answer to my own question, of course. It’s done in the name of being “politically correct”. All for the sake of catering to the overly sensitive, crocodile tear slinging, attention whores. You know the type. The ones we see on the news crying “but it’s sooo means to them….”. Them. That one word is the biggest part of this whole political cerrectness problem. It always boils down to some crybaby standing up for “them”. As if the “them” in question can’t speak up for themselves if the term referring to their particular condition offends them. Granted, retards (sorry, the “mentally handicapped”) might have a monicrum of difficulty speaking up for themselves and making the rest of us understand what they’re saying, but that’s not my point.

 We can’t call a retard a retard anymore. We have to say “mentally handicapped”. We can’t say someone is slow anymore. We have to say they’re ”developmentally challenged”. We can’t call a cripple a cripple anymore. We have to say “physically handicapped”. Or, the new fad title; “handicapable”. Handicapable? I’m sorry, but that word annoys me and I find it to be more offensive than the terms retard or cripple ever could be. There are retarded folks out there that can’t feed themselves and are still wearing diapers at the age of 30. That doesn’t seem very goddamned capable to me. Yes, a paraplegic can, in most cases, hold down the same desk jobs as any of the rest of us. However, if one’s sitting at his desk, on the 19th floor of an office building, and the fire alarm goes off and shuts down the elevators, he will need two strong co-workers to carry his ass out of the building. How capable is that? Yes quadraplegics could, conceivably, verbally program computers for NASA. But they still need a nurse to feed then and wipe their ass for them. Handicapable my ass.

Obama won. I’m absofuckinlutely amazed by this. (Not because of the color of his skin. Yeah, he’s the first black president. He made history. Now can we all get past the color of his skin and get on to things that actually matter in the grand scheme? Thank you.) I honestly thought McCain would win. Not because I wanted to see him win. Fuck no. I live next door to the U.S.. I expected McCain to win because he’s the worse possible choice. I figured that, since they voted Bush into office two terms in a row, they’d keep the trend going. As you may have guessed, I don’t have much faith in the American voter. The thought of McCain winning actually scared me. Mostly because I figured that, after he won, he’d die and that bubble head Palin would be in power. I had visions of “Hey. What’s this button do………” *KABOOM!* “giggle Oops…”.

But, Obama won. Now time will tell if he can get the job done. Based on the way he carries himself, the way he speaks and the things he’s said, I believe he’s going to at least try. If he manages to accomplish even half of what he said he wants to, the southern half of North America will better off for having had him as their leader.

Here’s where we starve the hungry
Here’s where we cheat the poor
Here’s where we beat the children
Here is where we pay the whore
Brutal Planet - Alice Cooper

People seem dismayed and, in some cases, stimied to find out that I didn’t vote in the federal election 2 days ago. “Why didn’t you vote? It’s your right as a Canadian…” blah blah blah. You’re absolutely correct. It is my right, as a Canadian. It’s my right, NOT my requirement. 

It’s not that I didn’t want to vote. I wanted to. I didn’t vote because I didn’t have anyone to vote for. Our choices were: Stephen “Captain Asshat” Harper for the Conservatives. Stephane Dionne for the Liberals. Jack Layton for the New Democratic Party. Elizabeth May for the Green Party.

There is no way you will EVER convince me to vote for Harper. I’d castrate myself with a nail file first. Stephane Dionne did not even come close to convincing me that he could even do a half assed job of running this country, let alone a good one. The more he spoke the less I wanted to vote for him. Jack Layton had all kinds of great sounding ideas until one actually sits down and thinks about them and tries to figure out how he’s going to fund them. Elizabeth May. Who? Exactly.

So tell me…… How am I supposed to exercise my right to vote when I have no-one to vote for? Pick the one I dislike the least? Yeah, I tried to. I couldn’t.

With our busted electoral system we don’t even actually vote for the folks running for Prime Minister in the first place. How’s that for screwed up. We actually, instead, have to vote for local representatives of the party of which your choice for PM is the leader. The monkey that wins the throne is the leader of the party that gets the most votes. And he never even has to get one single vote. How’s that for messed up? We’re electing a leader that we can’t even vote for. 

Speaking of elections: Does John McCain have Alzheimers or is he just an idiot? Folks, do yourselves a favor. Vote Obama. You’ve just barely made it through 8 years with an idiot in office. I’m not sure you can survive 8 more. Yes, I am aware that the president sits in terms of four years at a time. However, I can honestly not think of a president, in my lifetime (33 years), that wasn’t voted in for a second term. If I’m wrong, please let me know.

I’m done. For now.

One of my new favorite bumper sticker quotes: “I don’t have an attitude problem. You’re just an asshole.”.  My other favorite resides on my fridge currently as I have no vehicle, let alone a bumper, to afix it to: “It’s better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho the rest of your life.“.

My back has been giving me hell all week. I was asked why today. The best reason I could up with is that my back is evil and it hates me. Ibuprophen seems to be taking the edge off of my skull splitting sinus headache but doesn’t seem to be doing anything for my back.

My damned eye won’t stop twitching.

Emberassing: Woman catches you lookin at her tits. You make eye contact and say “Hi, (insert wrong name here).”.

Oops.

Larry the Cable Guy write the best Xmas songs EVER! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-LaQ1ev4AI&feature=related

Mic Foley jumping over to TNA just seems so entirely wrong. Nothing against Foley and I’m not saying it’s wrong of him to try something different but I just never thought I’d see the day when he’d end up in the land of of the WWE cast-offs. It’s nearly depressing.

My ass makes more intelligent noises than any of our current batch of federal politicians. Ain’t that the shits?

15 above freezing at 6:30 am last week. 1 below freezing at 6:30 am this morning. What the hell?

Eventually I should actually take the time to categorize my posts.

Or not.

Speaking of intelligent ass noises…… `scuse me.

How, or why, is it that polliticians can talk for 20 minutes and not actually say a damned thing?

Upon scanning the little bit of nothing I have here today I’m beginning to think I should go into politics…..

George Dubya is on the news right now talking about the stock market. I suddenly have this feeling of impending doom.

DOOOOM!!!

Ugh. My ass stinks.

Hedron excelerator/collider test fired.

Everyone was panicking about this thing. Goin on about how it would bring about the end of the world. They fired it up and, just as I expected, if it hadn’t been in the news none of us would even know about it. I wonder how many propoganda freaks are sitting around today doing their best Marvin the Martian impression. “Where’s the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom!”.
Freaks.

No, not from THAT. At least, not on purpose……

Anyway. I think I’ll be abstaining from voting in the federal election next month. I just can’t see me gving either of the hopefulls my vote. On the one hand we have Stephen “Captain Asshat” Harper and most anyone that’s ever read my rantings knows how I feel about that walking nut stain. Sadly (and I HATE to admit this) Harper seems to be the better option in this election. His opponent is Staphane Dion who comes off as your stereotypical Quebecer; Just another self righteous Frenchman. Jean Chretien, with his stroke damaged face and heavy French accent, spoke better/clearer English than this clown does. Most of what comes out Dions face sounds like complete gibberish. At first I thought it was due his sloppy grasp on the English language. Having heard him through a translator I’ve come to realize that his accent isn’t the problem; he’s really just a dumb ass. Normally I’d say that even a dumb ass would be a better option for this country that Captain Asshat, however, given that every third phrase out of this particular dumb asses face seems to be “tax increase” or “new tax” I have to recind that statement. Thus I don’t think I’ll be voting this year. There is no way I’ll ever vote for Harper, I see absolutely no reason why anyone would ever vote for Dion and voting for Jack Layton and the NDP after thought just seems like a gigantic waste of time.  

I woke early one morning
the earth lay cool and still
when suddenly a tiny bird
perched on my window sill
he sang a song so lovely
so carefree and so gay
that slowly all my troubles
began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
of laughter and of fun
it seemed his very trilling
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
crept slowly out of bed
then gently shut the window
and crushed his fucking head.
I’m not a morning person.

more cat pictures

I think I may, possibly, have been suffering some form of depression for a while now and didn’t even know it. For months, before moving to my current location, I was getting more and more paranoid. That much I knew and could see for myself. It was to the point that, before leaving for work in the mornings, I would go through and unplug almost everything in the appartment to avoid electrical fires. I’d check that all the faucet were off and the windows were locked no less than 3 times. I’d lock the door on my way out, then unlock it and go back in to check the wires and taps and windows. Then I’d finally get out the door and make between 3 and 5 trips up and down the stairs checking that it was actually locked. At times I’d turn around half way to work and go back home to check everything again. More often than not, even though it looked like I was listening to my headphones, I actually had them shut off because they kept me from hearing what was going on around me. I won’t even go into how miserable my demeaner was. I’m cranky by nature but this was excessive even for me.

 Then last Thursday it just broke. I don’t know how or why. I’ve been in a great mood for a week now. I’m down to one loop through the appartment to check lights and windows and such before leaving for work. No more return trips to check that I actually did lock the door. I’ve near deafened myself with the volume my headphones have been running at. Thursday, talking with Jean, we came up with the idea that my good mood that mornign was related to the high electrolite levels brought on by the hearty breakfast I had eaten that morning. Made sense at the time, but…. A week later?